Coming home to win

“It’s the only game where you score by returning to where you start.” That’s how Bart Giamatti described baseball. Watching the Yankees win yet another World Series by coming more more times than the Phillies reminded me of the parallels between parenting and baseball.

Dress for every game

Everyday, my monkey troop takes to the field of their day–each with their own strategy. Our kitchen is a locker room blur in these final pregame moments. Paper bag lunches come together, books and papers are jammed in backpacks, shoes tied, plates in the sink, beep beep beep–the alarm is set, the game is on: play ball!

Play for the whole season, not just a game

A winning baseball season is built on successful innings. Put nine  together and you have a win. Parenting isn’t about any one day, it’s about the span of days. If a week is an inning, nine of those is half a grading period at our school. Get enough base hits each week  and we’ll stack up nine winning innings at the end of the semester.

Object of the game: hit, run, score

Games have direction because the objective is clear. Parenting needs that same clarity. What’s the object of the parenting game? I stick with the definition their mother taught me: we’re here to raise good citizens. Keeping that perspective is part the job. Creating that culture it is the rest: setting boundaries, creating opportunities to win, and celebrating victories.

Home runs vs. base hits

I’m a base hit kind of guy. Lots of base hits bring more consistent results than the occasional home run. Parenting is all about base hits. The home runs like the unexpected A’s on an exam, or recognition for a performance in sports or a club are great. But, the multiplying result of daily effort teaches the value of consistency.

Rules are simple—and absolute

Kids like rules. Rules create what they call in Montessori, reliable systems. They’re trusted framework for daily life. Rules are simple,  consistent, and known in advance.

Punishing without advance knowledge of consequences isn’t a reliable system. Players know the risk of leading off a base, stretching a single into a double, or sliding for home. If failure to bring home a planner means early bedtime, enforcement is about the rules, not about you.

Arguing with the umpire doesn’t pay–this time

My  daughters create more drama in a week than Broadway theaters see in a whole season.  They get in my face like a major league  manager fighting a bad call. Ever see a baseball umpire reverse a call? Same goes for parenting. reverse a call and everyone loses. I’ve learned to delay difficult calls. Sometimes the issue resolves itself. Other times, the benefit of time spent reflecting yields a better outcome.

My kids also understand what every baseball player knows: their protest may not reverse this call. But, down the road benefit of the doubt could go in their favor next time. Besides, it’s a good life lesson for kids to stand up for themselves. I don’t take it as a challenge of my authority. I see it as a boundary teaching moment.

Every game teaches a lesson

Win or lose, a good team grows smarter and better with every game. So it goes with parenting. Today’s just one game. I call a time out when that perspective slips away. I regroup and come back looking for the teachable element. Baseball’s has no clock. Its poetic unfoldment allows that rare pause in our push-push world opening the door of transformation in nine innings. My friend Nick Grant delivers a great talk about this idea in this free audio download.

As it is with a season of baseball, life is long and any game is short. Parent game by game for the whole season and you’ll produce a team of champions.

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1. Coming home to win